Okay, so yes, I do, admittedly, unconditionally love this woman, possibly a great deal more than I even should, and have done so since literally the very first time she flung onto the music scene, but still. This is legitimately gorgeous, no? She looks fantastic, methinks. And her new record is phenomenal. I am talking ‘bout the R Kelly duet, yes I am, and I never thought I’d express such admiration for R Kelly in any way, but he’s actually really good too, when paired with Gagaloo.
And I love me some Gaga in a fancy kimono, whilst channeling early seventies’ onstage Freddie and all, and even if they’ve airbrushed her to death and beyond, she still looks reasonably much like herself and appropriately slightly bonkers and somewhat uncharacteristically normal at the same time, but quite like herself nonetheless. Recognizable, at the very least. In a great way. There’s a win! Do I wish the photo setup had been a wee bit more intriguing? Yes. Do I wish for less photoshop and a tad more interesting backdrop? Hell yes. But I love her, and she looks lovely. Fine, Glamour, you’re an overall entertaining read, you chose a fine garment, and an appealing cover star, and thus do indeed seem to have conquered this one.
And then, for the inside shoot, they decided to go all out in a Barbarella channels Patsy Stone channels Twiggy from space, and something to do with Christmas, in a slightly too vague and mischievously subtly o2 world-marketing fashion sort of a way. You know, Patsy already went there and did that, and it didn’t look all that fashiony back then either, and it was meant as a joke. I suspect this ain’t, and so I choose to diplomatically ignore it. Your photoshop skills still aren’t all that grand either, people. In short: for your future reconsideration, that one.
Next time, leave her face alone, and put her on a grand piano with a sequin carousel on her head or something. She’d like that!